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Saturday, June 22, 2024

Retirement Redesigned

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There Are Many Ways to Experience Love

Welcome to The Weekly Reset. This newsletter is about enabling people to thrive through retirement and elderhood. If you find it useful, please consider forwarding it to a friend. If you’re new around here please consider subscribing.

This Week:

There are many types of love to experience in retirement

Having to give up the relationships that defined you during your working years can have a major impact on your life. The transition into retirement finds us losing contact with people who were close to us, sometimes for decades. This can leave us feeling unwanted, even unloved. We may even think that people care less for us. We may even feel our ability to engage in loving relationships diminished by having contact with fewer people.

One way in which we can recalibrate our thinking is to look at the many types of love available to us. In English, we have one word for love, but in Greek, as well as other languages, there are multiple definitions and we get to experience most, if not all of them.

Agape is the highest form of love. Unconditional love.
Eros is the sexual love that we feel for our partners.
Philia is the affectionate regard of equals, such as friendship.
Pragma is enduring love like that of a long-lasting committed relationship.
Philautia is self-love. The regard we feel for our own happiness.
Storge is affectionate love – specifically between parents and children.

So love is not just a one-size-fits-all emotion. In retirement, we can cultivate these various types of love to help us experience a broad spectrum of fulfilling relationships. Where we may have the absence of one kind, we can focus on the others we do have and in that way feel the abundance of love around us and not just focus on the one we might lack.

Look for new opportunities to provide love in the relationship with people you have contact with. Be it in your relationship with a spouse or family member, or with any other friend or acquaintance, there are many opportunities to be warm and responsive toward others. As the Beatles sang in ‘The End’, it is true that “The love you take is equal to the love you make.”

Loving and being loved must be the most profound sense of living fully that we can experience. It is the complete antidote to the isolation and loneliness that is so often described as the emotions associated with retirement.


How to Continue Earning Income in Retirement

We’re introducing a series of workshops for Resetters based in the Somerset West area of the Western Cape. Our first workshop, happening this week, covers various aspects of earning income in retirement, featuring a special guest speaker on the topic – Colin Hall.

This is an opportunity to meet fellow Reset retirees in a relaxed setting.

Click here to book a ticket to this event

Our Favourite Article on this topic:

The Ancient Greeks’ 6 Words for Love (And Why Knowing Them Can Change Your Life)

Looking for an antidote to modern culture’s emphasis on romantic love? Perhaps we can learn from the diverse forms of emotional attachment prized by the ancient Greeks.

Here’s what we think
Roman Krznaric is one of our favourite modern-day philosophers. This article which he wrote beautifully articulates the sentiment we are trying to convey. Understanding the different words for love can help us have an even richer experience of the love we have in our lives.

Click here to read the full article by Roman Krznaric on Yes Magazine

Highlight of the week:

Most Popular Daily Thought

Quote by Anais Nin – Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. Anais Nin

Friendships are wonderful. We can experience different aspects of ourselves in different relationships and at different ages. New friendships are exciting. Old friendships are comforting, and intergenerational friendships broaden our understanding. At this stage of our lives, we can look back on the friendships we’ve had in our lifetime with a deeper appreciation. And if you are in the market for more friends, we still think that some of the best advice is, ‘to have a friend, be a friend’.

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Get in touch

Our company focus is on community first – you can reach out to us at any time.
Simply email us at [email protected]

Johann is the founding partner of Reset Retirement where we focus on assisting people with planning for the non-financial aspects of their lives after full-time work. He had a long career in executive search and leadership as the founding partner and chairman of Heidrick & Struggles in South Africa where he was the head of the company’s board practice.